Instant Confidence Boosting Tips For the Modern Male

Men seem to get less attention nowadays while the modern women continue to rise and break glass ceiling after glass ceiling. We’re all for gender equality and all that jazz, but for a moment, let’s appreciate the men a little and give some instant confidence boosting tips for the modern male.

These are not the lame tips like “believe in yourself”, “self hypnotise yourself into being more confident” or “get fit, pump iron and get six packs” that would either be ineffective or take some time. As the title says they are instant, and they boost confidence.

1. Check your posture.

Your body language and posture can temporarily ‘fix’ your inner state. Stand up, straighten your posture, ‘open’ up your chest, look to the sky, stretch out your arms as if you wanna give a big hug, the biggest hug you can ever give, stay there for a minute or so.

2. Change to smarter clothes.

Manners may maketh the man, but clothes do too. The feeling you get when being dressed up in just t-shirts and shorts versus being dressed up in a proper suit with proper shoes is a vast difference. You don’t have to go all out and dress like the Kingsmen everywhere you go. Dress just a tad, a little more, or ‘above’ what is appropriate or normal for the occasion.

Make sure your clothes fit you just right, to give you the comfort that goes a long way in giving you confidence. Clothes that are too tight or make you look like a teenager whose Grandpa just gave him some clothes aren’t contributing to your self-esteem.

3. Manage that facial hair.

We won’t get into the beard or no beard or facial hair VS no facial hair debate, but, whatever your preference is, if you look good shaved, go and shave. If you look good with facial hair, groom it, manage it, trim it, do whatever it takes to make that facial hair actually enhance – not put an ugly stain on – your appearance. What do we want? A handsome Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean look, not the ‘Taleban’ look. You get the idea.

Sometimes getting the appropriate facial hair management tools goes a long way. Don’t just limit yourself to whatever options are available at the local supermarket. Get the right shavers, be it a straight razor or an electric razor.

4. Manage that hair.

Pretty basic. Go to a professional barber, ideally one of those trending ‘vintage barbers‘ or an actual hair salon. Consult the hair expert what hairstyle matches your face and looks. Then get him or her to recommend the right gel, cream, mousse or pomade appropriate for your hair. And ask her to style the hair for you after the cut, then next time you follow that style yourself.

5. Manage that breath.

It’s always better to err on the side of caution when it comes to your breath. You may not smell it yourself, but other’s perception of your breath and their reaction to it can have impact on your self-esteem. Bring a portable tooth brushing kit everywhere you go and make it a habit to clean your mouth after every meal, not just once or twice a day. Bring some mints too just in case. Visit the dentist regularly. You get the idea.

6. Consider a change of eye wear.

If you’re short or long sighted and require eye glasses, consider a change of eye wear, or even consider contact lenses. Visit an optician and ask her to recommend the eye wear style appropriate for your face. If you’re considering contact lenses, and it’s your first time trying after years of using eye glasses, consider how you look without glasses – do you have that sleepy eyes look? Do you have eye bags? Contact lenses may not be for everyone. As always, consult experts.

7. Use the Voice.

Like posture and body language, this is one of those tips where an external factor can also affect your internal state. Drink some water, take deep breaths, clear your throat and just follow these 2 tips:

  • Stand or sit with the right posture, breathe in and expand your belly, and speak at a pitch slightly lower than your normal one. Don’t need to go for the James Earl “Darth Vader” / “Mufasa” Jones, just a tad lower than normal.
  • Do. Not. Rush. Pronounce and enunciate every word clearly (without making it sound too condescending). Pace your words, use appropriate pauses in between phrases.

There you go. 7 tips you can use today! Now you have lesser excuse to say, ‘I’m just not the confident man type’. It takes work, but you have to start somewhere.

Exercising in Positive Psychology: Easy Tricks from Coaching

Positive psychology goes along with a belief that people need (or even crave) rational, meaningful lives that would fulfill them. Living up to your standards and being the best you could be automatically equals a rich and fulfilling life. But reaching that lifestyle is a long journey for many people. Luckily, there are ways to help them.

Emotional coaching or life coaching is a popular service people use to change their old ways and incorporate positive thinking into their daily routine. There are some really popular exercises coaches use that work like magic for the most people. Those you could easily practice yourself no matter where you are.

Simple Positive Psychology Exercises to Incorporate into Your Life

  • Write to yourself.
    This trick is as old as the world, yet it’s 100% working. People always have something they don’t like about themselves. Think of that thing (or those things, if you’re willing) and then try to look at this situation from a different perspective. For that, you have to imagine your friend has the same issue. What would you say to them? Try to find warm and encouraging words for them. The key here is that we tend to be harsher to ourselves than we are to others. Sometimes we tell ourselves those things we would never tell another person. Be kind to who you are.
  • Choose positive.
    While this sounds so simple, it’s probably the hardest task in the world for us. The key in this exercise is to detect negative thoughts, see them before they really mess up your systems and stop them. The reason why it’s so hard is that people are not used to watching their thoughts and reflecting on their feelings. If you start actually thinking about how you feel and why you will see that many of your worries have no ground underneath and it will become easier to choose a positive side.
  • Keep a diary of rights and wrongs.
    In this diary, you will write a positive and a negative thing daily. Actually, it will be a whole another exercise to find something positive in some days, but you have to try. When writing about a positive experience note why it’s positive and how it made you feel. When writing about a negative one, try to understand why it’s so negative for you and how you can change it.
  • Visualize your best self.
    You have to do it daily to reach the strongest effect. This exercise positively affects how people see themselves and helps them move forward to their goals and dreams. It also helps to boost optimism and overall happiness. You have to strongly imagine who you would want to be in 5, 10, 15 years from now and explain why or how you reached those heights.
  • Break the cycle.
    People get stuck in the negative emotional cycles all the time. They simply get caught up in the track of thoughts and can’t break that negative cycle. Try to focus on your breath the next time it’s happening and just listen to yourself breathing in and out. Slowly, at least after a minute of that, you should return to your first thought and reevaluate it. In most cases, you will see that there is nothing dreadful happening.
  • Let your self-compassion grow.
    We say bad things about ourselves all the time, bashing who we are. Yet, this is not an effective technique. It would be much better if you learn self-compassion and start accepting who you are. Treat yourself gently, thinking about your flaws as of something current, something that you’re working on and battling. Being your own friend and supporting yourself will give you some courage to fight against your flaws.
  • Practice mindfulness.
    The easiest way to do this is by actually sitting down and meditating. It’s also a great way to recharge your batteries. You will incorporate a few extra positive elements into your meditation routine if you learn to clean your mind and focus on some good things that you are grateful for. It would be good to concentrate on a thought and then slowly let your mind wander off. When you start your meditation with a positive thought, it changes and brings you enjoyment.

It would be really life-changing to incorporate at least one of these exercises into your life. You have to try different things though, so you will know what really works for you and what you don’t really like. You might even find that moderating those exercising and adding your own component to those would work for you. The only guide here is to stay positive and learn to control your negative side, letting more positivity into your life.